I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you traded sex for a burrito?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
