You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
