To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
