do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
