that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When are your genitals available?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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