highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
