operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize