Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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