just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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