Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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