so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
