I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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