he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
