There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
