...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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