There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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