I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
