I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
