omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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