well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
