it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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