How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
