Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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