We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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