If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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