I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
