so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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