but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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