I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
