AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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