Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
