just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're breaking my sexual little heart
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
