how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
