your room smells of hookers.
And success
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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