Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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