Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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