What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
