I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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