And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Come back. Shots need mouths.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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