i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
