Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
