What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
