I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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