nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
