I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
