All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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