Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
