Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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