she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
