What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
