He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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