i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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