my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
