Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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