I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
