my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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