very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
