the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
