I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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