just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
