Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
