We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize