I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
