my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
